Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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