We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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