PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
