I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
