I bet he comes in French.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
