So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
