I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
And then my night got REAL pukey
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
