Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
