Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
