Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
