haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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