party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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