chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
