Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
