Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
