I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
