If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
