i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
