I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
