well I can't set my house on fire every night
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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