Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i will never coherently bang her
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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