In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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