wat bout pragnant strippers??
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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