I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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