he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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