ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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