you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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