We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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