I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
