She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
