You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
