My brain says no but my pants say off.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
