dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
