You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Damn victory sex feels great
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
