East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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