why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
