An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
