Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
no you cant smoke seaweed
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize