We're like a lot better than the average bears
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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