Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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