he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
