i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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