God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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