I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
