He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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