we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
