Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
