just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So vagazzling was a success
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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