i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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