I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
