do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
