I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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