Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
