Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
